You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
