Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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