Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
