Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
