I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
