We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
