party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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