This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
