yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
