I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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