i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
