I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
