I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
