i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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