You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
