I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
