i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
my poor anus
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
