Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
