Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize