So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize