i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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