if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
