well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
