five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
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Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
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If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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