"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
