I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
