Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize