At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
