i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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