Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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