Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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