We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
