Me too!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
