hotel room ftw
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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