how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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