it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
