I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
