We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Rumble strips road head = magical
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
