nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
