Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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