just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Cover your peen. We're going out.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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