I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
