i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
