ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
