So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
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At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
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No...this little piggys going to the bar
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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