This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You are the jesus of drinking
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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