You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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