They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize