yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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