and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
