I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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