She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
