Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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