i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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