I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
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