oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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