He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He shit in the fireplace
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize