the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
