we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
