my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I want a musical about memes.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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